All My Relations
I am committed to love others, most pointedly the marginalized, the overlooked, those who have suffered in the hierarchical systems of oppression and neglect in our world. But recently, I have begun to wonder how I can love those who are the perpetrators of this oppression and who I regretfully consider to be my opponents.
Protest and activism stir up powerful feelings of righteousness—my way is just and equitable; the ways of the patriarchy, white supremacy and the privileged are not. But I do not want to bask in feelings of righteousness. I wish to bring healing into our world, and into my life. The divisions between people begin with want – wanting more for oneself; not wanting to share the riches, land, waterways, or accept other cultures’ ways of being. We have witnessed the disparities in health care, access to healthy food, education, and jobs. This has been one way the dominant culture has maintained economic sovereignty. In We Are Each Other’s Harvest by Natalie Baszile, documentation of lands stolen from Indigenous, Black and Latinx people shows how white America prevented people of color from inheriting property and building family wealth over generations.
There is always enough for everyone.
Genevieve Vaughan expounds on this concept in The Gift Economy: “Scarcity is required for the continuing triumph of exchange over gift giving because if everyone had enough no one would be required or motivated to exchange, and gift giving would be easy. Instead, in scarcity, gift giving is difficult, even self-sacrificial, and exchange becomes necessary for survival. Accumulation of wealth in the hands of the few serves the creation of scarcity and the hegemony of the exchange paradigm. Accumulation also serves to provide the means for the domination of some over others, those who have more can dominate over those who have less, a process which rewards the dominators whose ego orientation has been constructed and validated by exchange.”[1]
Can I have compassion for those who do not know about the wisdom of a gift economy?
“My people, the Cree, begin each day by smudging with sage, which helps us to purify our thoughts, actions, and deeds. Smudging ensures that our actions will be done with a good heart and a good mind and with gratitude for the gift of living another day. This ritual also reminds us to perform our duties for the betterment of humanity. Reference is made to the concept of ‘all my relations,’ which means that all of humanity and living things are related and must be cared for by one another.”[2]
-Priscilla Settee
Today I will aspire to see everyone as “all my relations.” I will wish for everyone the ability to choose kindness over division, empathy over greed, a smile instead of a frown.
“I leave you love….I leave you hope.
I leave you the challenge of developing confidence in one another.
I leave you a thirst for education.
I leave you a respect for the use of power.
I leave you faith.
I leave you racial dignity.
I leave you a desire to live harmoniously with your fellow man.
I leave you, finally, a responsibility to our young people.”
- Mary McLeod Bethune’s last will and testament inscribed on the base of the Bethune statue – the first memorial to a black American—and the first to a woman of any race—to be erected on public land in the nation’s capital in 1974
With deepest gratitude,
Deborah
